


What Are You Doing New Year's?

by brewstr



Category: Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, First Kiss, M/M, New Year's Eve, there are other people but i'm not tagging them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 12:41:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13213983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brewstr/pseuds/brewstr
Summary: here's a grossly sweet New Year's Tallster fic bc I'm a hoe for fluff





	What Are You Doing New Year's?

**Author's Note:**

> It's 2am so please excuse this.

December 26th came around too quickly for the umpteenth year in a row. Anna sent out a group text inviting everybody to meet for breakfast on New Year’s Eve day since everybody would be off work. So on December 31st, everyone sat around a long table in a restaurant, laughing and swapping their best stories of that year’s Christmas. Outside the pure white sky predicted snowfall and the chilling wind pulled at leafless trees and winter scarves.

Inside, Caleb kept an eye on Ben all through breakfast. He watched Ben’s smile fade into abstraction every time the conversation passed over him. Ben was often low this time of year. His mother had passed away between Christmas and New Year’s when he was in college. He had gotten good at hiding it over time, but Caleb figured it might be bothering him a little more this year.

“Selah and I are going to Times Square this year to watch the Ball Drop,” Anna said.

“Oh, that will be fun!” Mary exclaimed with a smile.

“I’ve always wanted to do that,” Abbie joined.

“What are you all planning?” Anna asked them.

“John and Peggy are having a party,” Abe answered, “Rob and I are planning on going to that. Mary, you’re going, too, right?” —Mary nodded— “And Caleb?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there.”

Anna turned to ask Abbie and Akinbode, at their end of the table. Abe turned to Ben, nudging him with an elbow.

“You coming to John and Peggy’s?”

Ben looked up from the glass he had been turning in his hands. He hesitated a moment.

“I don’t think so.”

“What? Why not?”

Caleb shifted in his seat, ready to jump in at any second if Abe pushed a little too far. Abe had a habit of pushing without realizing it.

Ben shook his head and shrugged. “I just don’t really feel like it.”

“You’re just gonna stay at home?”

“Yeah.” Ben paused. “I mean, I dunno. I might change my mind later and drop in for a bit. We’ll have to see.” He put the glass back down on the table and pushed it away from himself. He glanced up at Caleb and caught him watching. Immediately, his face turned into a smile and he asked Abe about work to change the subject.

Things broke up close to noon and Ben said his goodbyes before everyone else. Caleb watched him go then turned back to the group.

“Hey, I’ll wait for you all outside, but I’m gonna—” Caleb pointed toward the door. He didn’t have to finish the sentence. They all nodded him off with knowing and grateful looks. Somebody had to look after Ben, even if he wanted to pretend that nothing was wrong. They knew Caleb was the perfect man for the job. Caleb hurried away. He found Ben on the curb, waiting to cross into the parking lot as several cars slid past.

“I didn’t know you weren’t planning on coming tonight,” he said when Ben noticed him and turned.

“Oh—yeah, sorry. I meant to tell you.” Ben shoved his hands into his pockets and hunched his shoulders against the wind. “I forgot.”

Caleb shrugged it off disarmingly. “No big deal.” He continued, his expression lightening, “A New Year’s celebration won’t be the same without you, ya know—standing along the wall looking as un-festive as possible in the party hat I forced you to wear.”

Ben laughed, his face warming. The wind didn’t feel quite so cold for a moment.

His head ducked to one side apologetically, “There’s always next year, right?”

“Right.” Caleb nodded. He smiled but his gaze stayed watchful. Then he added suddenly, “You’re okay though?”

Ben looked sheepish, as if he’d been caught. But he nodded quickly.

“Yep. I’m fine. Don’t—don’t worry about me. You have fun tonight.”

“Okay.”

Ben laughed again. “That wasn’t like an order or anything.”

“Okay,” Caleb repeated, just to tease him, to draw that smile out a little longer. Ben shook his head and stepped off the curb.

“Have a good New Year’s, Caleb.”

“You, too, Ben. I’ll see ya.”

Caleb saw the rest of the group trickling out of the restaurant and went up to join them. He was greeted with several questioning looks. Caleb shook his head in reply.

“No luck. That’s okay though, I don’t want to pressure him into anything he doesn’t wanna do. He’s a grown-ass man, he’s allowed to make his own decisions.”

Caleb caught Abbie and Akinbode as the group dispersed.

“What are you guys planning? I didn’t hear when Anna asked you.”

“We were actually planning on John and Peggy’s party until a couple days ago,” Abbie started, one of her smiles slipping onto her face. “But then Cicero came to me the other day and asked if we could just celebrate at home. I know his friends were planning something but he said he’d rather stay home.”

Caleb grinned, “You believed him?”

“I didn’t,” Akinbode chuckled. “But I grilled him about it for a while and it seems he really just wants to spend New Year’s with his mama and me.”

“My baby wants to stay home with me, I’m not gonna argue!” Abbie cried. “Besides, I think the best way to ring in the New Year is spending it with whoever you love the most.” She smiled up at Akinbode.

Caleb thought of John and Peggy’s big house filled with people and laughter and confetti. It was fun to get lost in the crowd and meet new people, to soak up the atmosphere of the throng, all with their heads up in the hope of a good year ahead.

But Ben wouldn’t be there this year.

“Well, Happy New Year to you guys,” Caleb put a hand on Abbie’s arm as he stepped away. “Tell Cicero for me.”

“Sure will. You have a good one, too! See you next year.” Abbie winked adorably.

It was an old joke, but Caleb never got tired of it. He laughed, “See you next year!”

 

Ben dragged himself off the couch at 8:30 that evening to take Susie out. He moved slowly, pulling on his shoes and coat without paying much attention. Susie saw him lay her leash on the kitchen counter and stood expectantly at the front door with her tail wagging. Ben grabbed the leash and was reaching to attach it to Susie’s collar when the intercom buzzed. Ben paused, trying to remember if he was expecting anybody. It buzzed again. Ben stumbled over Susie and pushed the receiver button.

“Ben! Buzz me in!” Caleb’s voice chimed immediately, he had come to know the click of the receiver.

“Caleb? What’re you doing here?”

“Buzz me in and I’ll show you.”

Ben pressed the unlock button and straightened. He looked down at Susie, who was still expecting to be taken out now.

“Caleb’s here,” he told her absently. Susie wagged her tail. “I have no idea why.”

Caleb’s knock came and Susie barked, forgetting the disappointment of seeing her leash placed back on the counter. Ben opened the door and Caleb barreled in as usual. He shoved a grocery bag into Ben’s arms with no further instruction than: “Take this.” He moved both bags he was holding to one hand to allow him to lean over and pet the ecstatic Susie. He kicked the door shut with one foot and moved to place the bags on the counter.

“Caleb, what is all this?” Ben asked, utterly confused and feeling a little over-stimulated.

“Well this,” Caleb pointed to one bag, “is sparkling wine. This,” pointing to the other, “has the chips and cookies. And you’ve got the ice cream.”

Ben looked down and suddenly felt how cold the bag was in his hands.

“Are we having a party?”

“Yeah,” Caleb faced him and put his hands into his pockets. “But just you and me.”

“But—” Ben was working hard to catch up. “Weren’t you going to John and Peggy’s?”

“I texted Peggy and told her I couldn’t make it.”

“It’s going to be an awfully boring party without you.”

“There’s gonna be like, fifty other people there, Ben. I _think_ they’ll be okay.”

Ben wasn’t so sure, but of course, he came from the point of view of someone who had never been okay at a party without Caleb.

“Well, what are we gonna do?”

“I don’t care, whatever you want.” Caleb threw his hands up. “We can just hang out, watch TV. And I bought two bottles of the wine, so we could get drunk.”

“It’s always nice to have the option,” Ben conceded.

“That’s what I say!” Caleb turned around to pull the bottles out of the bag.

“Why are you doing this?” Ben asked softly after a pause, coming up beside Caleb at the counter.

Caleb looked up at him with a half-smile twisting over a somber expression. “You said you were fine, but it’s no fun to be by yourself on a holiday. So you don’t want to spend it with a whole bunch of people, that’s cool. I get that. But you don’t have to be alone.

“I figured that even if you wanted to ask, you’d actually never do it.”

Ben’s mouth hung open for a second. It was always shocking how easily Caleb read him. “It’s ‘cause I knew you’d say yes even if you didn’t really want to.”

Caleb’s head swung to the side and his eyes sparkled. “Well, I’ve got you there, because I would never not want to.” He glanced down at the grocery bag in Ben’s hands and chuckled. “You’re gonna melt the ice cream hugging it like that. Better get it in the freezer.”

Ben stared for a split second longer before registering what Caleb said and hurrying to put the ice cream away with a self-conscious laugh.

“Hey, I think it’s snowing.”

Caleb moved to the window at the back of the apartment. Susie trailed at his heels. She always followed Caleb around.

“It is! Look!”

Ben was too busy watching Caleb to really see the snow illuminated in the orange light out his window. It was the same kind of wonder. Caleb turned around and came back up to the counter to unpack the other grocery bags.

“Look, I’ve got to take Susie out real quick, but why don’t you take off your coat and pour us some wine. And switch on the TV, we can watch the show in Times Square. Hey, we might even spot Anna and Selah.” Ben suggested, finally settling into the idea of the evening. He wasn’t going to try and make up excuses. Caleb wanted to be here. With him. He barely felt the snow outside.

An hour later they were tucked into the couch side by side with Susie sleeping at their feet. After a glass of wine and more cookies than he probably should have eaten, Ben was doubled over the pillow on his lap, laughing at something Caleb said. The TV babbled ceaselessly but they hadn’t paid much attention to it so far.

“What—” Caleb cried, “I’m right!”

“Well, maybe—but you don’t have to be so mean about it,” Ben protested through ragged giggles.

“Don’t lie to me, you thought the same thing when you saw him.”

“I did not!” Ben retorted, obviously lying.

Caleb gave him a hard, incredulous stare and Ben was wheezing again. When he sobered he caught Caleb watching him for the second time that day.

With one final giggle, he let out: “What?”

“Nothing,” Caleb answered quickly. He seemed to shake himself. “It’s just—good to see you laugh like that.”

Ben’s smile faded and he stared down at the pillow.

“Sorry, I—” Caleb started, blaming himself.

“No, it’s okay,” Ben reassured him. “I’ve been that bad, huh?”

“Nobody _minds_ , Ben. We just care.”

Ben shifted on the couch to face Caleb more fully. He rested an elbow on the back of the couch and ran his hand through his hair.

“It’s been harder this year. My dad’s health hasn’t been great, with his surgery in October and all. Recovery’s been slow for him. And when I went home last week—” Ben paused and sighed, covering his eyes with his hand. “—I could just tell. He had photo albums out and an old bottle of her perfume was out on his dresser upstairs. He’s been missing her more keenly this year than in recent years. I guess I caught it.”

“It’s especially hard to be without her this time of year, isn’t it?” Caleb murmured.

Ben’s eyes traveled Caleb’s face before he nodded, his mouth twisting slightly. Caleb reached out and laid a firm hand on Ben’s shoulder. Ben inhaled deeply and managed a smile.

“Thanks for coming tonight, Caleb.”

“Yeah,” Caleb brushed it off, lifting his hand to nudge at Ben’s chin with a knuckle. It took the effort out of Ben’s smile.

“So!” Caleb changed the subject as he leaned forward to reach for the wine bottle on the coffee table. “I was gonna ask if you if you had any New Year’s resolutions.” Ben grabbed his glass and held it up for a refill.

“I don’t know about resolutions. It’s more of a to-do list.”

“Ah, of course.” Caleb shot him a teasing glance as he poured his own glass. “I should have guessed.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re always making things more complicated than they have to be.”

“Well, _damn_. You’ve got me pegged,” Ben said sarcastically, glaring over the rim of his glass.

“What have you got on this to-do list?”

Ben took a sip of wine and shrugged with an air of innocence that was highly suspicious. “Things.”

“Wow.” Caleb raised his eyebrows as he put the bottle back on the table. He looked back at Ben. Ben’s expression remained blank. They watched each other for a second before breaking into laughter.

“I was asking for specifics,” Caleb tried to clarify, hoping to decode the situation.

“I know,” Ben answered simply.

“Well, are you gonna tell me?”

Ben turned his attention to the TV and exclaimed suddenly, pointing, “Hey, it’s that one newscaster! I thought he was dead.”

“Why are you being weird about this?”

“I’m not being weird about this. I really thought he was dead.”

“Asshole,” Caleb muttered dramatically, giving up. He downed half his glass in a gulp and tried to ignore Ben’s stupid smile. They watched the screen in silence for a few minutes.

“You have any?” Ben asked suddenly.

“Any what?”

“Resolutions.”

“Yeah, I’m resolving not to put up with your shit anymore.” Caleb said, kicking his legs up to rest them on the coffee table.

“ _My_ shit?” Ben cried indignantly. “Do you know how much of your shit I put up with?

“Not nearly as much as what I put up with from you.”

“That is such a lie.” Ben shook his head in exasperation and turned back to the TV screen, immediately catching sight of a familiar profile. He flung out a hand to catch Caleb’s arm.

“Hey—I think that’s—wait, hold on until the camera pans back. Yes! It’s Selah!”

“Oh, there’s Annie!” Caleb cried in delight.

The two stood smashed together at the metal fence, waving wildly at the camera as it panned past.

“That’s wild. I didn’t think we’d actually get to see them.”

“Me neither. Huh.” Ads started playing again and there was a short pause. “You want ice cream?”

“Yeah.”

Ben detangled himself from the couch and stepped over Caleb’s legs to get to the kitchen.

“What kind did you get?”

“Peppermint something. You like peppermint, right?”

“Mhmm.”

 

With less than ten minutes until midnight, they were both melted into the couch and seriously close to falling asleep on top of one another. An annoying ad came up for the ninth time and they both groaned loudly. Caleb lobbed a pillow at the TV set. The Times Square cast came back on and the camera panned over the hoards of people packed in to see the Ball Drop. Snow flurries fell over the crowd of smiling faces and waving hands. The newscaster appeared and shouted about how they were getting close now.

Caleb tried not to be so aware of how close Ben’s head was to falling on his shoulder. He kind of hoped it would just drop. Ben’s neck was starting to strain from holding his head up. He realized he was going to have to sit up or let it drop. He sat up.

“C’mon, we can’t go to sleep,” he said, poking at Caleb. “It’s almost midnight.”

Caleb roused himself and sat up, too, pushing the disappointment away.

“Okay, one last glass of wine before 2018 starts.” Ben poured both their glasses. He handed Caleb his and added, as if an afterthought, “You know you can stay here if you think you’re too tired to drive.”

Caleb smiled, “Thanks.”

“It’s the least I can do.”

Their gaze lingered a little longer than usual. Ben told himself not to think anything of it.

“We’re close now!” The newscaster belted with excitement, as if he hadn’t been saying that same thing at regular intervals for a half hour. The five-minute counter started in the corner of the screen.

“Is it still snowing outside?” Caleb got up to check at the window. “Wow, there’s like two inches out there.”

“Good thing you’re not planning on leaving then.”

The counter was down to a minute and they sat shoulder to shoulder, silent. The giant ball began its drop, slipping down the massive tower in a crawl.

Ten, nine, eight, seven… A smile slipped into Caleb’s eyes, he looked to Ben. _Three_ , _two_ , _one_. Ben looked back at him, returning his smile and raising his glass in a toast. The glasses clinked and they drained them as the TV exploded with music and confetti and flashing shots of kissing couples.

Caleb’s shoulder brushed behind Ben’s. Ben turned to meet his eye and Caleb leaned in to kiss him. Ben’s hands flexed compulsively when Caleb’s lips pressed on his own, the empty wine almost slipped from his grasp.

“Happy New Year!” The TV shouted twenty times over in a million different voices.

Caleb’s hand was tucked into the bend of Ben’s arm and Ben had lost feeling in his fingers and toes. Caleb pulled away, Ben opened his eyes. For a breathless second, nothing happened. Then Ben was smiling.

“Happy New Year,” Caleb said in a hallowed whisper.

“Happy New Year,” Ben whispered back, nudging Caleb gently with his shoulder, drawing a grin from him.

“Abbie said something—” Caleb started suddenly, “this morning. She said something about how the best way to celebrate the New Year was with whoever you loved the most.” He was quiet for a bit. Then, “So I came here.”

“I’m glad.”

“You are?” Caleb nodded, his face completely earnest.

“Yeah.” Ben laughed suddenly— “And I’m glad I get to cross something off my to-do list already.”

Caleb’s head tipped inquisitively but his eyes were crinkling with a smile.

“Happy to help,” he quipped, his gaze dropping to Ben’s mouth. “Let me know if there’s anything else I can do for you.”

The warmth in Ben’s head was making it difficult to focus. He just nodded. Caleb kissed him again. There was another something crossed off the list.

 

“You know what, Ben? I think this will be a good year.”

**Author's Note:**

> Susie was a Christmas gift to Ben and he named her after his mother. She's an akita because those are my favorite.


End file.
